Ask An Expert Archives
The questions and answers below are categorized under the following topic:
Safety Concerns
Questions:
- When is my mother too old to drive?
- How can I talk to a confused elderly relative about moving from home to assisted living?
- What are adult protective services? Can these services help if I suspect that my neighbor is being abused?
- What kind of affordable safety equipment can be used by my father to summon help when I am not home?
- How can I approach my father who is usually neat and clean but now resists showering, shaving and wearing clean clothes?
- Since my husband’s stroke, he has been bedridden and is totally dependent on me. If he needs my help while I am downstairs, I cannot hear him. I am wondering if there are bed alarms available.
Questions and Answers:
When is my mother too old to drive?
While age alone is never a determining factor, and many older adults are excellent drivers, age-related changes in the body can affect the ability to drive. Many of the physical assets necessary for safe driving, good vision, hearing, flexibility and reflexes-begin to decline as we grow older.
There is not a defined age when a person should stop driving and each instance should be judged individually. Aging drivers can adopt safer driving practices to offset some of these physical changes as time passes. Older drivers can improve their driving by: recognizing their limitations, identifying unsafe practices, and educating themselves in ways that they can continue to drive safely. There are driving safety programs offered especially for older adults.
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What are some ways to approach an elderly relative who is too confused and forgetful to continue living at home alone and needs to move to assisted living, but does not see the problem?
Although it is difficult to 'convince' someone that moving to a health care
facility is best, you and your family can make a loving impression that you
care about them, that you only want the best for them, that you are willing
to listen, and that you do understand their feelings. Try to be consistent
by repeatedly telling them that you want the best for them and then try to
move the conversation on to something positive.
To help influence their understanding, you might also try enlisting the support of other important figures in your relative's life-such as a clergy person or a physician who is not a part of the family. The more the relative can be involved in the selection process, the better.
If they are able to visit different places with you this will also help them to feel that the decision is being made, in part, by them and not being forced upon them. If they are unable to visit, try to discern from them what the important amenities and qualities are in a home, whether that be privacy, good food, a place to sit outdoors or being able to have their own furniture.
You might consider hiring a care manager that can help create and implement
long-term care plans. Also, a care manager can assess your loved one's needs
and he or she will be more likely to "tell it like it is" -without some of the hesitance or bias that we as family members bring to conversations
with those we care about so deeply. To find a list of care managers, nursing
homes and fact sheets on eldercare decisions, or to ask an expert about your
own caregiving concerns, visit www.seniornavigator.org.
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What are adult protective services? Can these services help if I suspect
that my neighbor is being abused?
Adult Protective Services (APS) are administered through your local Department
of Social Service office. APS investigates situations where reports of abuse,
neglect or exploitation of seniors 60 years or older, or adults over the
age of 18 who are physically or mentally disabled have been made.
The local Department of Social Services also provides assistance with health, housing, and legal services to stop abuse and to prevent further abuse from occurring. Adult Protective Services may be able to assist your neighbor with his/her situation.
To report suspected adult abuse, including financial exploitation, call
your local department of social services or the Virginia Department of Social
Services' 24-hour, toll-free Adult Protective Services hotline at: (888) 832-3858.
Visit www.seniornavigator.org to learn more about elder abuse and/or to find
contact information for your local department of social services. To get answers
to your own caregiving concerns, visit this site and click on "Ask an Expert."
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My elderly father, who is very ill, lives with me at home. I need to
locate affordable security alarm equipment that he can use to summon my help.
Do you
have any information regarding such equipment?
Without having to invest in costly equipment, you may wish to try a baby
monitoring system. There are some available that you can clip on and carry
around with
you throughout the house. They are generally not complicated to use and are
very efficient. If your father is not cognitively impaired, perhaps a simple
intercom system would also work. If he cognitively impaired, however, more
sophisticated and costly equipment that does not involve client decision-making
might be necessary.
Virginia Assistive Technology (VATS) is a Virginia resource that helps
people access a wide variety of assistive technology. They have a loan fund
as well as an equipment exchange program that you may wish to investigate.
Visit www.seniornavigator.org and type in the topic VATS and your zip code
to locate the VATS office nearest you.
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Until recently, my father has always been a neat, clean, and kept person.
Now, however, he resists taking a shower, shaving and wearing clean clothes.
Do
you have any suggestions as to how I can handle this situation without a
major battle?
This answer depends upon why your father has had such a dramatic change in
behavior; there could conceivably be several reasons for your father's resistance.
Was this a sudden change or slow onset? If there has been a significant,
sudden change in his behavior, he would benefit from an evaluation by a physician
to determine if there is a physiological condition involved resulting in
the
behavioral change.
When older people get an infection or their blood lab values are not normal, sometimes their behavior will change dramatically and once the problem is diagnosed and treated, the abnormal behavior stops. However, if your father has some form of dementia, you might have to approach him in a different manner because he may think you are trying to hurt him, as opposed to simply cleaning and dressing him.
This misperception often occurs because individuals with dementia are unable to interpret incoming data. If the behavior might be a result of dementia, here are several tips for you:
- Decrease unnecessary stimuli in the environment.
- Approach your father very calmly, slowly and with assurance.
- Do not attempt to get him to do more than one thing at the time.
- Make sure non-verbal communication (hand gestures, facial expressions, etc.) are congruent with spoken communication and are assuring and pleasant.
- Use several different ways to communicate a message. For example, tell your father you'd like for him to take a bath, show him a picture of the bathtub, direct him towards the bathroom, etc.
To ask an expert about your own caregiving concerns, visit www.seniornavigator.org.
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Since my husband’s stroke, he has been bedridden and is totally dependent
on me. If he needs my help while I am downstairs, I cannot hear him. I am wondering
if there are bed alarms available.
First, you may want to consult with a local medical equipment supply store.
To locate such a store in your area, go to www.seniornavigator.org, type
in the topic “Medical Supplies,” and your zip code. We also recommend that
you
contact the Virginia Assistive Technology (VATS) program that helps people
access all types of assistive technology. The program has a loan fund, as
well as an equipment exchange program, that you may wish to investigate.
Lastly, depending on your budget, you may want to consider a baby monitoring
system. There are some available that you can clip on and carry around with
you throughout your home. Generally, they are not complicated to use and are
very efficient.
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